What else could you do with it?

Brock (5):

"What should I make with this scrap of paper? Maybe a creative wig. You're right...too obvious."

When miracles become nightmares

Brock (age 5):

"Last night, I was telling my fish goodnight. I said, 'Goodnight my little nightmares.' Then I thought, 'nightmares? No, that's not right. What's the word? Ah, yes. Miracles. Goodnight my little miracles.'"

Oh, no problem then.

Brock,5, in backseat: "Wow. I can't believe how much sand is in my shoes!"
Me: "Wait, are you just dumping sand out all over the floor of my car??"
Brock: "NO! Geez. I'm dumping it on the seats."

How dare I

Brock, who turned 5 two months ago, just accused me of trying to take away his dignity.
(In case you're wondering, I asked him to put a washcloth in the hamper since he was already on his way to put some clothes in there.)

Broken heart

Brock (5) got sent to his room, and when I went up there a little later he asked if I would help him draw a heart. Then he held it up and I thought he was going to tell me he loved me. Instead, he ripped it and told me that was just like how I just broke his heart when I punished him. The drama with this one.

Chop chop

Me (as we leave pool): I remember when I was a kid and swimming made me hungrier than anything else!
Brock (almost 5): More than chopping down trees?

I will have to get in touch with my inner lumberjack and get back to him, I guess.

Why, thank you!

Brock (4), poking my boobs:

"Those are like pillowy soft baby butts."

Someday, he will be horrified when I tell him these things.

Easter is canceled

Me: uh-oh.
Brock: what?
Me: there was a dead rabbit in the street. Hit by a car.
Brock, nonchalantly and seriously: oh, it's probably the Easter Bunny.