Monday, December 23, 2013

Dem toofas

Awesome artwork by Saccstry on deviantArt
Brock: Do I have more teeth above these ones?
Me: Yes, they will come out in just a few years. Then the tooth fairy will come!
Brock: The tooth fairy is creepy.
Me: Well, maybe I could act as the go between, because it is kind of creepy that she comes in your room while you sleep. You could give me the tooth, and she'll give me the money and I'll pass it on to you.
Brock: No. The tooth fairy is creepy and I have plenty of money already.

Friday, November 29, 2013


Brock (3) was washing his hands tonight. He wanted me to stay there with him.

"Stay! ... Stay for lunch!"

long pause ...

"I've just always wanted to say that."

Thursday, November 21, 2013

My thinking finger

Brock (3): "I need to put my finger on my face because I'm thinking hard about something. (Pause) Hmmmm. Maybe I need to try my other finger instead."

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

Where pizza comes from ...

Brock: Pizza is "dairy."
Me: Yes. Well, the cheese is.
Brock: Is pepperoni dairy?
Me: No. It also comes from animals, though.
Brock: Do animals poop?
Me: Yes. They eat and poop.
Brock, after a long pause, eyeing his pizza: So ... they poop out pizza?

You are dispensible

Brock: "I want a new family."

Us: "Wha??"

Brock: "I want a new family, when I've used you up."

The most obvious reason

Brock: "Mom, that big girl wouldn't play with me!"
Me: "I'm sorry. Well, sometimes big kids don't feel like playing with little kids."
Brock: "Or, maybe she's deaf."

Monday, August 5, 2013

I guess they are always obsessed with their "parts"

"My penis wants to go in the hot tub now. Don't worry little guy. We're going now. It's hot in there, little guy, so stay in there (underwear)."

Friday, July 5, 2013

Body parts. You can't leave 'em behind.

Me: Brock, go quick. Get in the shower.

Brock: no. I'm going slow. With my penis.

Potty talk

Brock, trying to use the potty while I tried to hold him up because we were somewhere where there was no potty seat:
"My poop is not ready to come out. It's reading a story. In my butt."